It's not green!

I am so excited! I couldn't afford to go and have my hair colored and highlighted when I had it cut this week, so I took a risk and did it myself! Actually, Michael helped me a little. It is a little darker than what I am use to, and I miss my multicolor highlights and low lights, but I do not miss the gray! Mostly, I am so thankful that it did not turn out green or orange:)

I discovered though that I have a little bit of vanity when it comes to my hair. I suppose I have always known this, but having to face the fact that I couldn't "go and have my hair done" was a tough one for me. It was one of my indulgences, a quiet and peaceful time to be pampered. Mind you- I could care less about my nails, makeup, jewelry, and even clothes. I am pretty simple and low budget when it comes to those areas of life. But my hair...only the best will do. Silly, I know. So while this may seem like a trivial post to some- it is a big step for me. Only one question remains...will I go back to the salon to have my color done, or will I stick with the $8 box solution from Target? To be continued......

Song of my heart

This morning my heart is singing praises to my Lord Jesus. Here are the lyrics that it sings- http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/third-day/king-of-glory.html. Click and listen.

I have no where else to turn but to Him during this (or an any) season of life. The waiting for a job for Michael is at times, down right painful-physically, emotionally, spiritually. I am thankful that I have ben blessed to live in this great Nation, but at times I think that living here can be a bit of a curse. Our culture is driven by the right here and right now mentality. We find it so very hard to wait for anything- food, clothes, music, entertainment, results-you name it. What we want, we get, and frankly, we think that we deserve it.

Through the past few weeks in Bible Study we have been walking with Jesus to the Cross, and this week, beyond. God's Word has really penetrated my heart with a deeper knowledge that I deserve nothing but death. But God, in His infinite mercy and grace, extends His love to me through His Son, Jesus. If there was another way for man's sin debt to be paid, God would have come up with that plan, but there was no other way. Only His perfect, Holy Son could be the Passover Lamb. It was for that reason that Jesus endured the Cross, the most painful and humiliating form of punishment. He removed His royal garments to be clothed in nothing but the sins of all this world, past, present, and future; so that those that were given to Him and believe in Him would be free from that sin forever! So while my family endures the waiting of God's provision of a job, a new home, new schools, a new place to show His love to others, I can only praise my Lord for what He has done for me and for all who believe that He alone is The King, God's Son! May His Name be lifted high!!

On the come back and entering new territory

This week I have had a great turn around. I am feeling so much better! I have entered the land of the living again. So good to not just be sitting on the sofa all day. I am thankful for the quick healing I have experienced. Modern medicine is simply amazing. We have been richly blessed during this time, and I praise God for His love and provision.

Also, I have had the unique opportunity to guide Madeline through a wonderful weekend filled with scripture and Truth of what God has in store for her over the next number of years. She is no longer my little girl anymore. She is blossoming into a young lady, and while my heart is saddened, I am also very excited to see her become all that God has created her to be. As we journeyed through the Passport2Purity series, she was able to see how God has only the best in store for her. But to achieve that, she has a responsibility to put Him first in everything. Part of me struggled with asking her to take a stand and be very different from what the world wants/expects for young people (even within Christian circles), especially when I did not walk that road myself. But I know that through the power of the Holy Spirit that dwells within her, she will be able to live in this world, but not be of the world. I know He will be able to carry her through the challenges of the teen years- friends, peer pressure, boys, figuring out who she is both inside and out. I also trust that God will provide Michael and I with the necessary wisdom and guidance to help her. I just pray that she will know that Mike and I will always be her biggest fans and that we will be there every step of the way during this journey.

Time...

Funny thing about time, it passes so very slowly when you are doing nothing. I know that is stating the obvious, but why is that? Most days are a blur, in fact, I would even say most years have been a blur since having children. But sitting on the sofa, day in and day out, has become so very tedious. I thought I was feeling well on Sunday/Monday, so of course I was up a bit more doing what seemed to be small tasks. Small tasks are not so small when you have just had an organ removed, even with less invasive surgery. An organ gone, is just that, an organ gone. How can a body even know what to do with that? I mean, the thing has been there for 39 years and then in 2 hours- poof!- it's gone. I am not mourning the loss of my uterus. I am, however, simply bored out of my mind. I have watched way too much Travel Channel and DVDs. I am a tad frustrated that I can not even take a shower without being winded and totally exhausted. How did I ever run a half marathon?? Mind boggling... So though I am thankful to not have to do laundry and grocery shop or fix meals or make beds, etc. (because my amazing husband is doing the job of 2 right now), I am also sad that I can not do these little tasks that I so often loath doing. Crazy, huh? So until I can walk across the house w/o being winded, I will just have to continue to watch the minutes tick oh so very slowly by.....tick....tick....tick.

Healing

Post surgery update. I have 4 one inch incisions on my abdomen and some very sore tummy muscles. I am missing a once integral part of my body, but am thankful that it is gone. I was so blessed to have such an amazing medical team at Central Baptist Hospital. Dr. Hagar, as well as all of the other docs and nurses were just wonderful, caring, informative, kind and attentive. The healing has begun. My dear husband has helped immensely! Since my mom was not able to make it, Mike has had the unique opportunity to do all the things my mom usually does when she would come to help, whether it was post baby or post surgery. God has surrounded our family with some pretty amazing people who are helping with meals and entertaining the kids. Truly, we are blessed and our cup runneth over!

Anticipation

Yes- from the title- I know you are singing. It's a classic. Go ahead and sing it loud!

Tomorrow begins my prep for surgery. All liquid diet with a kicker of Mag Citrate to help it all get out the other end more effectively. It is a nasty business. Truly nasty. One that I had never hoped to have to endure again until I was 50 and had to get another colonoscopy done. But alas, I am but 39 and here I go again...

I have been running at a very high state of anxiety as I await Monday morning and my once in a lifetime hysterectomy. Part of me is glad all that childbearing apparatus will be gone, because, thankfully, those days are over and done with. Part of me is super excited to not have to deal with the monthly "present" anymore (disclaimer..if people can discuss their children's diaper habits and potty training events, I suppose it is ok to mention the "present"). But the description that I received last week about what all the procedure involves is, quite frankly disturbing, and has me just a little freaked out. Then to add insult upon injury, they make you sign the disclaimer that makes you aware that brain damage and death (as well as many other undesirable things) are possibilities during the surgery. Nice. My doctor tells me that it will all be worth it in the end, and that I will feel so much better. I wish he'd given me some sedatives last week so that I could make it through the rest of the week like a mellow mushroom. That would have made me feel better, or at least made me a little more bearable to be around.

I keep thinking- if I can run a 1/2 marathon, surely this will be a walk in the park. I know that with Jesus, all things are possible, even peace in the middle of this "storm." All I have to do is keep my eyes focused upon Him and He will keep me walking on the water. If I doubt and turn my eyes to the surrounding circumstances, I will sink. But thankfully, He is always there to lift me up. Lord Jesus...you are so very, very good! So it is with great anticipation and renewed courage that I embark upon this surgical journey, ready to see all the ways that the Lord will provide and ready to praise Him when He does!

Lesson learned

You kow that you have done a decent job in parenting when your 10 year old daughter hits a tower of legos with her brother's giganto blowup bat, pops a hole in it, is told she has to hand over her giganto blowup bat to her brother to replace the one she ruined, and she runs to find the 3m packing tape to patch the hole, makes the repair, and both bats are saved!!!! 3m tape rocks! MK and her problem solving skills rock! Life lesson for the kids- learned. :)

SPRING!!

Spring is finally here! I have hit the road 4X this week- going at least 4 miles each time. It is so beautiful. I could stay out all day! I supppose I will just go for a nice walk today, since rain is in the forecast for tomorrow. Mike is doing 10 this morning. He will run the Lexington 1/2 Marathon next Sunday. Pretty funny guy...I have a surgery scheduled for the 29th, day after the 1/2, and he wants me to run the 1/2 with him. I called the docs office, the secretary said absolutely no runing the day before surgery. Bummer. It would have been a great way to go out before the 4 week recovery period that will follow surgery. If the weather continues to be nice, I am thinking I will sit out back in my bathing suit (no, it's not a bikini) and soak up the rays! What else can I do- no lifting or climbing stairs for a few weeks. I think I may go out of my mind...or blog:)

Kids are doing well. Little spring fever and at times are a little antsy, but considering our living in limbo until Mike finds a job, thay have been hanging tough. Lots of bike riding on their new bikes in the circle of our street with the other kids. No spring sports on tap, just looking to soak in the beauty of Kentucky at a slower pace this year. Smiles!

Fast Pass Fairies Succeed!

We did it! All 9 of the crazy ladies that attended the 2nd annual Disney Princess Weekend and ran the Royal Family 5K crossed the finish line! Those who attended last year (Karen, Kerry, Vickie, Darcy) shaved time off of last year's time to set PRs! For the newbies who attended (Connie, Karolyn, Kathryn, Kris, Kelsey), this was for most, their first 5K and all of them finished in less than 1 hour! I am so proud of each one of these dear women! We are already looking forward to next year's race. I hope some of them will even brave the 1/2 Marathon. Anything is possible!

Perky

I was on the treadmill today, next to me was this young and "perky" college girl. I must admit, I miss those days of looking so young and fit. At first, my competitive nature wanted to kick in and show this chick up. But my old body just wasn't up for the challenge today. As I glanced over at her progress, I saw she would hit her stride for about one "lap around the track" then have to walk. Not sure if she was speed training or not, but I covered the same distance as she did in slightly less time. I am a slow and steady runner (I do use that term loosely). I had just been to Bible study and this whole treadmill deal gave me a clearer picture of what I learned earlier this morning. We have been studying "The Vine and the branches" in John 15. When I try to muscle through life my own way, doing everything that I want to do, when I want to do it and by my own energy- that is living a self-centered life and am not abiding/remaining in Jesus. I am running quickly, burning out, and having to walk, or even have a seat on the curb, when those challenges in life hit. When I abide/remain in Jesus (studying His Word, praying, fellowship w/ others, worshiping Him, etc.), then I am living a Spirit-led life. By doing so, when the time for pruning comes (from God, the gardner, in the form of trials, difficult people, etc) rather than being sent reeling and ending up frustrated and bitter, I am able to realize what is happening and embrace the work God is doing in my life. In doing so, eternal fruit will be produced. It will be displayed in a patient and joyful disposition that awaits the "spring" and the growth of even sweeter fruit. With all that said, running at a slow, steady pace is like living the Spirit-led life. I will not run out of breath. I will have the energy stores to make it up the next hill whenever it arises, and rarely will I have to sit down on the curb. Gotta love that!!

Getting ready

I leave Thursday to head to Disney for a leisurely weekend with some of my favorite running partners- my mom, 2 aunts, 5 cousins, and one who I think is a cousin. It should be a great weekend filled with lots of laughter, lots of eating, a little running (as we run the Royal Family 5K), and much fun! It is always a treat to get to hang out w/ these ladies. Over the years, I have always been the youngest and have been so blessed to be able to sit and listen to the more mature women in my family share their life experiences with me. Now, I will fall in the middle of the pack as the younger gals join us! I know that God will bless this time that we all share together. I have seen Him do a mighty work in the lives of the women in my family! So it is with great anticipation that I make this trip, hoping that His glory will be revealed in a beautiful way through each and every one of those dear women whom I love so much! But until then, I still have 2 more days to crank out the miles on the treadmill. This old mare has a few young fillies to leave in the dust...Giddy up!

Chaos? No...peace.

So tonight at dinner, my running partners (husband, 2 kids) were just belly laughing over fighting over slices of yummy french bread, trying to bite their left ear while patting their left shoulder w/ their right hand, and popping balled up napkins across the room. Chaos! I am thankful that Runner #2 is out of the madness of amazon.com and that laughter fills our home once again. I love the silliness of it all (though I can't let them know that, my reputation would be ruined:))! I am also thankful that #2 was also able to make it to almost all of Ian's basketball games. That would have never happened a year ago. Am I still nervous about the uncertainty of the job market and the ability for Mike to find a new position? Some. But I am also filled with the indescribable peace that only Jesus can give, knowing that we are EXACTLY where we are suppose to be.

The day started with a little glimmer of sunshine over the horizion. Finally! The days are getting longer and I can see spring just around the corner. It has been just over a week since Lent started. I have learned 3 lessons: 1-I think about chocolate way to much!, 2-I often seek man's praise more than the praise of God, 3-When I make Jesus "little," or more like me, it is only to justify my actions, motives, and thoughts. So, these 3 idols (chocolate, praise of man, and self) need to be cast down and burned. It will be tough to throw them into the fire. I wonder if I could just melt the chocolate and dip a few strawberries in it:)?

entering new territory

OK- So I am a little behind the times, but slowly, I am gaining. After giving up Facebook for Lent, I have found that there is therapy in jotting down my thoughts. So here it goes. I hope you will enjoy going on this journey with me. I do not guarantee humor in every post, nor do I promise there will always be blue skies. I do promise a transparent sharing of what God is teaching me about Him, as well as myself and this crazy, beautiful, fallen world that we live in. So lace up those running shoes and let's run!